Maikling Kuwento

The One That Got Away

"It's now or never." the words just came out of Jeremy's mouth. He was afraid to take the risk but was more afraid to lose Sarah. He was sweating all over while anxiously waiting for her response.

Silence. Deafening silence.

"The least you could do is tell me something." Jeremy muttered while trying to hide the tears falling from his eyelids. He knew that this will be the last time that he will see her again. And just the thought of it makes him want to hug her tight and never let go.  

"I can't." 

Finally, she said something. Jeremy looked straight in her eyes and all he can see is emptiness. Like as if the feelings are not there. It's as if the person standing right next to him is a complete stranger. He knew this would be the end of everything that he'd worked hard for six years. 

He knew that she was leaving. And this time, it's definitely for good. 

*********

"I'd love to go to the movies with you." Sarah said without hesitations. She was smiling all over and it appears to him that she is excited.

"I would be honored. So I'll pick you up at 7?" Jeremy asked. 

"Yes!" Sarah blurted out as she was running out of breath chasing her school bus. "I can't chat right now, just call me! See you!" 

And with just a blink of an eye, she's gone. But it doesn't bother Jeremy. Not even an inch. This girl that he's been dreaming of ever since they were Freshmen finally agreed to go out with him. He felt like he was the luckiest guy on earth. 

 
And maybe he was. 

*********

"I love you. I know I may not tell this to you everyday, but my feelings never changed. It just grows more and more each day. You don't deserve any of this." Sarah was wiping the tears from her eyes, she knew that Jeremy was in pain. And this was all her fault. 

"I'm sorry, please forgive me." she muttered. 

He was angry. He can't explain the mixed emotions that his feeling right now. All he can think of was he loved her so much but she took him for granted. 

He wanted to shout and leave. But there's this part in him that makes him want to stay. He loves her, more than she loves him. He was willing to take the pain all away and make amends. 

Jeremy wiped the tears from Sarah's eyes. "I love you." was the only word he can tell her right now. And he hugged her tight. He never wanted to let go. 

 ..... to be continued.

Mga Kuru-kuru ng Taong Nababagot

Hello there! I'll try to write something worth reading but if ever, please bear with me. :) Like most of the time, I'm alone and I have nothing to do. Siguro this is one the reasons kung bakit ako madalas malungkot at mainis. Hindi naman ako mainising tao, actually I'm trying my best na hindi magalit lalo na kung ang sitwasyon ay milya-milya ang layo mo sa tao. I try my best to be as PATIENT and UNDERSTANDING as possible. But then again, I'm only human and napupuno din siguro ako. 

I have a lot of things bugging me right now. Most of you will think that the reason why I am pissed off right now ay may kaaway ako, but on the contrary... Wala akong kaaway. Kaaway ko ata ang sarili ko. Nababaliw na ata ako. Haha! 

Kuru-kuru No.1

I don't just want to be your second priority. Ang taray diba? May pa-ganyan ganyan pa kong nalalaman. Sometimes, I feel like I am being left out in the open or let's just say, being taken for granted for whatever reasons. This is not just about one specific person, I felt like people's lives are moving on without me and maybe that's primarily the reason why I am going nuts here... because basically, I am alone and all my loved ones are enjoying the time of their lives back home. As much as I want to dig deeper about this issue, blogspot is not the most private website in the world. People can search your blogs online, friends can read this and they might come up with the wrong impression so imma shut my mouth up for a while. But yes, I don't just want to be second on your list. I may be selfish but that's how I am, take it or leave it. I can share the no.1 spot as long as I'm there. hahaha! 

Kuru-kuru No.2

O, Trabaho asan ka na? Karugtong ng nauna kong blog. Wala parin akong trabaho hanggang ngayon. Sabi nga nila, "wait patiently". I am waiting patiently and I am praying for the perfect job for me. Kahit nababagot ako at sobrang gusto ko nalang umuwi sa Pinas, magtitiis ako kasi sabi nga nila, when you wait patiently... the Blessing will flow. But then again, napapaisip parin ako... Eto nga ba ung sinasabing blessing ni Lord? I am not questioning God, I am just simply wondering if it is really part of His plan for me to work and stay here in Jeddah. Baka naman pala ang plano niya for me ay sa Japan o Singapore o Malaysia ako magtrabaho. Or simply, sa Pilipinas. I have always been desiring to earn bigger compared to what I'm earning back home, but why do I experience all these trials? Is God teaching me a lesson? or simply He has something greater that's in stored for me that I still have to find out in the coming days, months, or even years. We can really never tell what will happen in the future. But one thing that I'm sure of... It will be something great. 

Kuru-kuru No.3

It's not about YOU all the time. Recently I've been very observant about statuses and wall posts of my friends (not all of them actually) in FB and TWITTER and my oh my can I say that some people are just so self-absorbed. I will admit that sometimes I have this tendency to be so involved with myself and in what I'm doing that I tend to forget that people don't really care. They don't really want to know everything about me or everything that I've been doing. So, since I've been observing this lately... I'm trying my best to not talk about MYSELF or what's happening in my life if it's not really that necessary. I also came across this Weekly Devotional by OMF Literature and it really made sense to me. Here's an excerpt: 

"When you and I boast of our strengths, we get the credit and we get under our own head of stream. But when we boast in what He is doing in the midst of our brokenness, inability and inadequacy, Christ comes to the front. His strength comes to our rescue. He is honored."

I know sometimes we tend to boast about everything that we've achieved in life, pero masaya ba tayo? Masaya ka ba na nalalaman ng iba ung ginagawa mong mabuti? Siyempre ang hipokrito ko naman kung hindi diba? But still in the end, everything that we've achieved in life, it all came from God and He deserves the credit not us. So it doesn't matter if people don't appreciate you, that's fine... God does and He sees everything that we do. Wag nating itaas ang ating mga sarili at isiping mas mahusay, mas magaling tayo sa iba... In God's eye we are all equal. 

So as I end this blog dahil kinakagat na ko ng lamok dahil nakikiagaw lang ako ng wifi sa kapitbahay hahaha, let me share to you a quotation posted by my dear friend, Shyn: 

Never be so full of yourself that you cannot feel the emptiness of another. -- Rio Vergini ;)

Til my next blog. Adios! :) God bless! 

Job Hunting 101

Ang Hirap Maghanap ng Trabaho. *BOW*

It's been six months since I was last employed. And man, do I miss working! I had to quit teaching for health issues and I was thinking that time that it's for my own good. Well, was it really? REALLY? Anyway, I missed blogging. I was hoping I could blog about something good or something I'm excited about, but unfortunately, life in Jeddah is not how I was really expecting it to be. 

SAUDIZATION. VISIT VISA. & A WHOLE LOT OF DRA-MUH.

Have you ever heard of the saying, "some things happen at the wrong place and at the wrong time?". Well, that's how I will describe my 2 month (almost) stay here in Jeddah. I am here on a visit visa and yes, I am having a hard time looking for a job. In this case, ANY job will do. I will not be picky anymore since I don't really have a choice. In a country wherein Filipinos are mostly Nurses, any medical related jobs, or engineers (and the like), I practically have to swim my way in finding a good paying job, regardless of the job itself.

FIRST SCAN. October 10, 2011. That was my first day in First Scan, a Private Radiology Clinic here in Jeddah and I am accepted as a Physician's Assistant. Salary-wise, not so. But the work itself, it's okay. I mean if you're the type of person who's okay with not doing anything and just waiting for the doctor to finish her work, then this is definitely a GREAT job for you. I've met great friends, even if I assume to be the youngest in the group, they welcomed me and I really appreciate it. But, unfortunately, as much as I would love to work with them longer, I had some issues with the clinic. (NOT NEGATIVE ISSUES) It's just that since I am on a visit visa, I am NOT allowed to work in whatever way here in Jeddah. I was just lucky enough that my employer allowed me to work for them. But apparently, I had to quit. The work schedule (broken time), my visa, the WORK itself. It's killing me. I had to give it up and start looking for a job that will actually provide me a working visa. So there, I lost my first job here in Jeddah. 

After First Scan. I was really hoping that when I resigned from First Scan, everything will be easy or should I say, I will be able to find a job quickly. But apparently, as much as there are A LOT of good opportunities, I always get rejected for two reasons: I AM ON A VISIT VISA and their SAUDIZATION POLICY. 

Saudization refers to the national policy of Saudi Arabia to encourage employment of Saudi nationals in the private sector, which, as of 2006, was largely dominated by expatriate workers from Southeast Asia and to a lesser extent with western expatriates. (Wikipedia)

It is really frustrating to hear from the Bosses that they like me and would really want to hire me but unfortunately they can't because of my status. I am devastated. I admit I lost hope. I was rejected three times. And that was not a good feeling, believe me. But then again, I need to stand firm on my FAITH that God did not allow me to travel a thousand miles away from home just for me just to sit around and sleep all day. He has a perfect plan for me. I just have to wait. 

And Yes, I am STILL waiting in VAIN. Waiting is the hardest part of my job hunting here in Jeddah. I am always anxious that someone might call me on my cell phone, anxiously waiting for a reply or a news from my mom every time she comes home. It's again, another FRUSTRATION. But the good part is, although it's painful to wait for uncertainty, my God is an awesome God and He always reminds me that I should not worry. He teaches me how to be humble and patient in times like this. I should stand firm and I should be strong not only for myself but also for my mom who did everything to help me and support me. So even if it will take a while before I actually get a permanent job, I will not give up. Even if they keep on saying that my application won't be processed, I will not be shaken, for it is written: "I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a bright future." Jer. 29:11. 

You just can't have it all. I am human. As much as I don't want to feel pain, frustrations, and rejections... I feel them, I experience them. So what should a human do in times like this? I can only think of one thing: PRAY. And of course, do your part by not giving up. I have a couple of applications in my mom's hospital as an admin. assistant, I've received good feed backs from the employers, but until I haven't received any final decision... I am still on the rocky side. I still have to earnestly pray for it and desire it with all my heart. I know after this humbling experience, I will be able to get the job that I deserve. You just can't have it all. And I honestly think that working abroad is that easy since you earn big. It's actually very hard and I must say I am in awe on how OFW's were able to stay here for a very long time.

So my pursuit of finding a job here in Jeddah is still not over. It's actually way from over, but I won't give up and I will keep on trying even if it takes a lot of rejections but at least in the end, I tried. I may have failed a few times but I know I will succeed one day. Some day. God has perfect timing; never early, never late. It takes a little patience and faith, but definitely it's worth the wait.

For those who actually paid attention in reading my blog, thank you. If you are experiencing the same problems, always bear in mind: I have a BIG God and He's bigger than any of my problems. I am not being self-righteous and all, it's just that in times like this, you gotta have faith. Faith can move mountains. and if you have faith, YOU can do too. :) 

Just a few verses to lighten up our day: 

 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Til my next blog. Thanks for reading. God bless :)